In 2009, I found myself abandoned once again; this time with three little girls.  I was forced to face every hidden wound as well as pick up the pieces of a broken marriage.  During this season and a brief period of reconciliation, I became pregnant again.  I was broke, broken, working three jobs and trying desperately to rebuild my life.  I have always felt that I carried a miraculous measure of God's grace inside of me.  This time grace, was what carried me and the fire that was meant to destroy - renewed me.  I understood for the first time in my life how wide and deep is the love of God.  I was reborn.  I was tenacious and determined to become the woman God intended me to be and the mother my children deserved.  This was truly one of the darkest seasons of my life and I look back on it with joy and gratitude.  

about me

   I spent the majority of my childhood in the Ozarks. I grew up climbing trees, playing in cool, clear creek water and swimming in the Buffalo River. I learned to hear the voice of God in the stillness of my natural surroundings. My childhood was was not as idyllic as my environment. I was abandoned by my mother when I was three and by the time I was four I was being sexually abused. The abuse continued until I was 13. When I was 14, I came close to suffering a nervous breakdown.  My abuser was not punished and I was forced to live in close proximity to him and "pretend" like I was ok. My self worth took a major hit as I didn't believe that I was worth protecting or fighting for. Much of who I was and who I aspired to be were carefully hidden away and there it remained until I was almost 30.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
— Søren Kierkegaard