Dear Heather,

  How can a stay-at-home Mom find an outlet for creativity that helps her to feel more relevant, confident, or successful?

Dear Stay at Home Mom,

  I have 5 kids, so not only can I relate to this question, but I have also been ALL over the place while trying to figure this out for myself.  You are not alone.  Do you know that old saying? “If I had a dollar” for every mom who feels like she’s losing herself at some point during motherhood.  Well, I would have been a millionaire a long time ago.  I don’t think there is a one answer fits all people for this question.  I will share what I have learned.  My first piece of advice would be to recognize the season you are in.  I would never sacrifice rest for scheduling another thing for you to do.  Rest and Play promote creativity.  If you are sleeping and playing enough, creativity will come to you effortlessly.  Think of your own child.  How does she/he act when they are tired?  Are they full of creativity and ideas or are you one “no” away from a nuclear meltdown? Human nature is human nature.  If you need sleep, you must sleep.  You will find the energy for more creative things once you are rested. 

Next, play.  As I said earlier, rest and play promote creativity.  What does that look like for you?  For me, I need to be alone, outside, running, or walking by the lake.  For some, it means coffee with a friend once a week or so.  Play relaxes you.  When you are laughing, you see the world with more possibility. 

Now I have a question for you.

What did you love to do before becoming a mama?  Write 3-5 things down.  Read what you wrote out loud.  Do any of these things tug at your heartstrings? Do that one thing.  Schedule it on your calendar and do it.  If you are a single mom, do you have anyone to help watch the kids once per week?  You would be surprised how much good once per week can do for you.  There is also this phenomenon that occurs when you do something you love…. you miraculously find more time to do it.  Can you get your kids involved so that you can do this thing more than once per week?  There was a season when my kids went to bed promptly at 9 and I did my writing from 9-10.  I found that I loved it so much, I was waking up early to write and then writing on my lunch break.  So, where is your moment in the day?  Write it on the calendar.  You are important.  Let go of any guilt.  A well-rested, fulfilled mama is a good mama.  When you are whole, you show up for your kids wholeheartedly.  Lastly, I would just like to say that you are impacting the world every single day. 

You are relevant

….and every win that you have with your children makes you successful.  Also, every time you learn from a failure and your kids watch you learn, you are successful.  Moms are raising the future of their country and our world no matter where we are.  We have future presidents, politicians, lawyers, preachers, scientists, doctors, teachers, speakers, entertainers, and entrepreneurs living in our homes.  We are carving out the future one feeding and diaper change at a time.

This does not negate your question in any way.  If anything, it makes it more relevant.  My girls used to get mad at me for going on runs by myself.  One day I said, “Girls, you are growing up a little bit every day and one day you will leave.  If I never take care of myself and all I’ve ever done is be a mom, what will happen to me when you leave?” Do you know what?  They got it.  Kids are always smarter than we give them credit for. 

In closing I would like to share some of my basic rules for getting creative. 

• 1. Get out of your head.  I wear my body out to get out of my head.  (hence the running)
• 2. Play…It is play that promotes creativity. 
• 3. Limit your options when your time is limited. 
• 4. Focus on your one thing. 
• 5.  Cultivate a creativity habit. (Schedule it and work on it every day.)   I loved your question and I hope this helps!

Sincerely,

Heather

I would love to hear from you!  I will be featuring some of the reader’s questions on life, love, and family on the blog.  Please reach out to me via my contact form on the website, or find me on Facebook under HS Haygood.  Please write “Letters to Heather” in the subject line or at the top of your message so that I don’t miss it.  I am looking forward to reading your letters!